It's snowing!

Tuesday, August 28; 8/28/2007 11:05:00 PM

my mum thinks that the whole world is out to get her
the whole world is purposely making things difficult for her
walao
who will be so free la..
it's getting on my nerves
i've got enuff on my plate...
i haf no wish to tackle another problem
which is why i choose to hide in my room
rather than go watch my tv show...
haix
sometimes i wish i haf a mother who's more normal
not bordering on the verge of paranoia..
tt u haf to tread carefully ard her
think b4 u speak
coz she can be so sensitive abt wad u say
read so much into wad u say..
n almost always form her own conclusion
n refusing to change them
even when most of the time her conclusions r wrong
is it a housewife problem?
having too much spare time
n thinking too much
their world juz revolves wad happens in the family..
ard them...
so sth minute will become a big problem
sth insignificant becomes very impt
a careless word becomes a big issue
losing a temper means going against her...
this is so tiring...
it doesn't help if she's apathetic
means she can't be bothered to find something else to do...
they r plenty of things tt you can do that does not req money wad..
volunteer..join in RC activities..
sianz
i hate it when she goes into her bouts of reminiscence
it's almost always negative..
i understand tt she has to get it off her chest
coz she got no one to talk to..
but she was the one who chose to think too much
n alienate her sisters
how can she expect pple to take sides
sometimes it's juz impossible to take sides w/o hurting someone else
can't she juz understand it??
it juz goes against my principles to take sides
unless it very obviously an injustice
but most of the time i only get 1 side of the story..
hw to judge??
this kind of sacrifice for the family is too huge
staying home YOUNG to look after the kids
n end up like nw...
seeing this has made me more determined not to be a housewife
to not gif up my own life, my own independence, my financial freedom
i think a lot of the problems stem frm self esteem
or rather a lack of
n also a sense of helplessness
n independence n financial freedom forms a big part of this self esteem...
i feel like i'm staying in a dormant volcano waiting for it to erupt
there's always a period of calm
when you think tt everything is fine
suddenly u'll feel some tremors
but they r minor ones
so u dun think much of them
den one fine day the tremors get stronger, u see smoke coming out of the crater, ashes being spewed out
den u go
"OH SHIT!"
but it's too late to run...
den u accept ur fate
u r gg to die in tt eruption
den when u miraculously survive
u'll feel jittery...
but u'll still continue to stay ard the volcano area coz it's where the soil is the most fertile
where u r the most comfortable
but u still feel jittery..
preparing to run
in case of another eruption
but the expected eruption din come
n u'll be lulled into a false sense of security
life goes on as normal...
until the next tremors....

Friday, August 24; 8/24/2007 12:03:00 AM

supposed to be preparing for my negotiation session
but couldn't resist the temptation to blog
hehehe
haf been bz wif yfc..

booth at can a to sell bookmarks

bookmarks for sale!

hmm..let's first la hor..haha

mj volunteers

while planning...

Friday, August 17; 8/17/2007 09:48:00 PM

recently was watching why why love
wif rainie yang inside
in the show she has this attitude towards life
to haf no expectations in life
because without expectations, there won't be disappointment
suddenly i think this is so true
i think i'm beginning to adopt this stand
such a pessimistic view rite?
but sometimes i think it's better not to haf any expectations
because if things dun live up to ur expectations
u'll get disappointed
i would rather live without expectations and be pleasantly surprised when things r better than i expected
i dunno
maybe next yr i'll change my view
but i guess for now i'll stick to this
i dun wan to bear the feeling of disappointment
it's not a good feeling
disappointment with myself, family, life, friends
maybe i din work hard enuff
maybe i could haf done more
maybe i overestimated myself
maybe i expect too much
but i decided tt i shud juz work hard n see wad life gives me...
this yr has been a humbling experience....

there some things tt shouldn't be forced
some opportunities r juz nt opened to me
it doesn't mean tt coz i'm taking a 2nd spec means i'm doing very well
in fact my grades r juz average
sometimes it's really tiring to keep explaining myself
but y do i need to explain myself
i dun owe anyone an explanation

sometimes when r u doing well
it could be because ur effort has paid off
u deserved it
it doesn't mean tt it has become easier to score
to get As
it helps to be more sensitive
as there may be pple who worked juz as hard but din score their As
to them
it becomes a form of irony...

i was reading cleo the other day
den they had this article abt the birth order theory
as in ur birth order determines ur character
when i was reading thru it
i was thinking "how true!"
but i was thinking ur character was not determined at birth
it's more of how u were brought up
maybe it juz so opens tt most parents treat the oldest child the same way
in a way the oldest child was a guinea pig, an experiment for the parents
coz as their first child, they r nt too sure of hw to bring them up
so it's a lot of trial and error
so most of the time they tend to be more paranoid wif their first child
haf i said it before?
i hate being the oldest child!
i'm the product of an experiment
bleahz

haix
i keep forgetting to collect my corp financing law readings
darn
even after shermaine reminded me to go collect them i can still forget
forgetful me*
blame it on the venue of my negotiation lesson
it's at S3.1
so far away frm the photocopying shop
so inconvenient
haha
blame everybody n everything but myself

ask u all a qn:

is corn a
1) vegetable
2) fruit
3) grain
4) grass

tag me ur ans!
haha

Tuesday, August 14; 8/14/2007 01:32:00 PM

some pple can juz be so cruel
there's this cat at the marsiling market
from wad my mum said it's pretty harmless
it hides when there r a lot of pple ard
yet some pple pour hot water on it
it's juz a little more than a kitten
den juz when it recovered from the burns
my mum juz found out that it was beaten to death by some pple
n the cleaner threw it into a rubbish bin
my GOD!
it's juz a small cat...
even if u dun like cats u dun haf to pour hot water or beat it ma..
all u haf to do is juz splash cold water on it n it will run away liao ma
walao
where got pple so cruel de...
how do u like it if someone splashed hot water on u n beat u to death?
wad's worse is u r doing it to a helpless animal
if u really really can't stand the cat, juz call SPCA la
at least they'll haf a more humane method of putting the cat to sleep..

can u imagine
my cats haf only been wif us for a few months
yet they've juz grown onto us
we weren't fans of cats
my mum was terrified of cats
yet we've grown to love them n pamper them n luff at them
if anyone did tt to my cats
u'll probably get a police report from us
GRRRRR

anw ya..
if u r scared of the cats attacking u..
dun worry, they'll only do tt if u feel threatened
like i always got scratched by the cats near my hse last time coz we alw go "kachau" them when we were kids..
even nw i also disturb my cats..
i like to touch their tails n legs even tho they hate it
tt's hw i end up getting scratched..
hehe

anw today ended super early
supposed to haf lesson until 1230
but we ended at 1030
coz there was no grp presenting today
siao lor
haha
travel to n frm sch 3hrs go sch 2 hrs
anw since i ended early, i went popular to buy textbook
went photocopy shop collect my readings
went SAO to submit documents
went can 2 to buy waffles
went library to return storybooks
n i reached home at 1245
woohoo!
this is the life man!
i wan to haf more of this kind of days...

now i think i strongly subscribe to the thinking tt some groups just attract more troubles than others
it can be tt we work fine individually, in pairs n in 3s..
it's juz when the whole grp comes together, everything starts to go haywire..
no matter hw u try
no matter hw many obstacles u pass
there'll be many more obstacles coming up
it's nobody's fault
it's juz the shen cheng ba zi of the grp clash or sth..
u may nt believe it
but u'll believe it if u r in one of this kind of grp
rite?
haix

Saturday, August 4; 8/04/2007 10:12:00 PM

hey hey
i'm back frm cruise

act went b4 once alr

everything looks the same..

hehe

managed to rush PA report out on tues nite

den after tt packed for the cruise trip

ended up sleeping at 2+ den waking up at 8+ the next morn to go sch hand in the report

not bad leh..

considering the fact tt i had a slight fever on tues

n had to go gif tuition rush report n pack

hehe

den wed morning went to hand in report

took longer than expected

den the funny thing was

i was gg to hand in my report den on the way i saw someone whom i thot to be my tutor

so i handed in the report to him

den after tt on the train i kept thinking was the person i handed in to the correct person?

so i msged my tutor n asked him

den he called me n said ya i gave it to the correct person

n he was so amused tt i couldn;t recognise him

so i juz ans his hair grew longer..

he was so amused i was so paiseh..

haha

den while waiting to check in for the cruise

we met this china uncle n auntie

at first they juz asked us a qn abt where to q

den the uncle went on n on to talk to us

tok for very long....

tok abt china, tok abt the world, but mostly abt china

we were so scared tt we'll be listening to him tok for 3 days

so when we got onto the cruise we avoided them like the plague

phototaking while q-ing

den it was cam-whoring time

we took pics like no tmr..wahaha

at the forward of the ship..

where jack n rose went u jump i jump..

but of coz we din do tt..

u jump i dun jump

hehe

den our room was better than expected...

got balcony de wor..

i was juz expecting a porthole

hehe

dinner at the mediterenean was awful

bleahz~

den next day..we missed breakfast

coz cant wake up

so we had brunch b4 gg to redang island

er...bet u all dunno i got an irrational fear of swimming in the sea even with life jacket

so ya maureen had to hold on to me all the time while snorkelling

ooops...

heh

den after snorkelling den we went back to the cruise showered change n went to laguna resort

to take pics!!

we took a lot of pix

i'm so sick of seeing my fotos nw

wahahahaha

laguna beach..nice nice

den we realised

the crew of the cruise r multi taskers

first day we see pple painting the ship outside our room

the next day these 2 pple became the tender boat drivers

n the best thing they looked so diff so we din recognise them but they recognised us

hehe

at the more more tea inn..frm the show summer mo mo tea wif richie ren n sammi cheng

nice show

the cruise on the way back frm redang island

den we went to watch the topless show

ok la..

their dance not v coordinated

but it's nt tt sleazy la

altho there were a lot sexual connatations

but den again it's a topless show rite?

the interesting thing abt the topless show is tt no matter hw much they wear their breasts muz always be bared

so they can be wrapped up like mummies for all purposes but they muz still show their breasts

waahaha

the musicians at the pool

my god! they can sing really well!

so cute rite!

the captain's son/daughter

dunno la

they all look the same to me

haha

den after tt go wander ard for things to do

finally ended up at the karaoke to sing

pple who go sing wif me will noe tt i cant sing w/o pple leading me

so obviously i sounded awful la

coz they dun haf the A/D function

wahahaha

den last day it was juz a dip in the jaccuzzi n brunch den home sweet home

xiu xiu my newest stuff toy frm redang island!

so cute!!

i act fell aslp while watching jin shun

faintx

n omigod

i got mind over stress

it's frm 6-9pm on mon

n it's my only lesson for the day..

faintx

i go sch when pple r gg home

den the next day i got 830 class

double faintx